Severus' Life At Hogwarts- a tough time
by Emmaaaaaaaaa
Summary: The tale in snape's eyes.
1. Chapter 1

There she was, standing there, her flaming red hair blowing wildly in the wind, behind her was the ancient willow tree; also blowing in the wind. The sky was a bluish grey, an improvement to the winter term at Hogwarts. Lily would love this weather. She loves being able to walk around the pond looking at all the frogs and newts, dancing around at the command of my wand. It didn't hurt them, she wouldn't like that. She wouldn't like that at all.

I started to walk towards her, calmly and carefully in case I disturbed her thoughts. I knew I should though; it was never good when she was in deep thought. She did it too much. Always about running away, I remember the day she told me about it, I did everything I could to prevent her running away; it must have worked because I seemed to be running to her right now.

"Lily!" I called from about twenty metres away "Lily!" but then _she _came. The reason of Lily's thoughts, the reason of the nightmares.

"Lily... you're a freak. You and that _boy. _You're freaks you know...both of you"

I ran toward her. "Petunia, shut up! Just shut up! Leave lily alone! You're the freak! Not us. Go away! Leave!" the anger was welling up inside me. I saw lily's face. It was one full of fear and upset. "GO PETUNIA! GO NOW!" I drew out my wand. That was the biggest mistake I made in a long, long time "Severus! No Severus! Not here! We're not allowed, you know that." Her request had turned into a plead "please Severus... you'll get expelled, please... don't leave me..." I put the wand back in my pocket but it was too late.

"I'm telling mum lily! She'll never let you see that boy again! Ha! Lover boy, you should have thought about that before you did it! Ha!" with that she left. Leaving her muggle scent behind. I slowly lifted my head; I looked at lily meekly, "Im sorry Lily, I really am."

That was the last time I saw her for the rest of the holiday. I would sit in my room and hope. The weather had gotten worse again. I'd sit on my bed watching the rain droplets making their paths down the window. Then I would look out. Hoping to see her face, her beautiful face at the end of the drive. But it never came. I don't know why I hoped.

I slowly came around from that thought though. I didn't realise why until I saw her, her green eyes peering into the cabin I was in; sitting on the Hogwarts express. "Lily!" I exclaimed, picking my self up from the seat I ran to the door to let her in "I'm not staying Severus, you know that Gryffindor's and slytherin don't sit with one another here."

"I know lily, but... please? I haven't seen you for five weeks, we need to talk, are you allowed to be speaking to me?" I saw the glint in her eyes "no" I said for her. I slumped back in the seat. Fine. Thats it then.

"No Severus! Its not it! Were still friends right! Friends forever duh! You know that! And she lightly punched me in the arm, I stood up and hugged her, "friends forever" and she was gone, her cloak turning and twisting down the thin corridor. I stood there until I could see she had got to her carriage. "Friends forever" I muttered. "Yeah right"


	2. Chapter 2

The train started with a jolt. The older boys were still walking around the train. They peered into the carriage and gave me the evils, unluckily for me, I was the only one in the carriage and I saw the looks on their faces; I shivered and looked out the window, I was not moving for the people who made my life a misery. Why should I? "Move it scumbag" I turned back around to see Lucuis; a prefect at the time. I stood up; rubbed my robes and grabbed my bag from the top rack. I lowered my head and hoped I would get out of that carriage safely.

Silly of me really, I don't know why I hope. I exited that carriage with a nose bleed and my books sopping wet, they had been flushed down the toilet whilst Lucius was 'talking to me'. I hurried up the corridor looking meekly into all the compartments where first years were mucking about with their wands and talking like strangers. I finally reached one with another loner in it. I placed my bag back on the top shelf and sat down. I had a seat view so I made the most of it. As the train carried on; getting faster and faster, I slowed my thoughts down. Getting sleepier and sleepier. That's odd. I thought, I never sleep on this train. Then, in the corner of my eye I saw it. I reached up and grabbed the little sack of magic powder. I sniffed it.

I didn't come round until we were there. I could imagine the boys and girls already had left. I hadn't got my robes on. I cursed under my breath this was someone's plan? To knock someone out until we got there? Pathetic I thought. Then the train started to move. I cursed again. I jumped up and was pushed by some sort of force back down. I cursed once again, then again until all you could hear if you were to walk past would be a long line of consecutive swear words. I screamed out "Help!" then I shut my mouth. This was what they wanted. For me to struggle to get out, but I was in the slug club. I was the best.

I stretched out to my wand which had rolled out my cloak pocket, my finger slowly uncurling and reaching out, grabbing it and then slowly retreating my hand so I had my wand in the correct position "Incendo!" suddenly a ball of flame licked up to the ceiling, searching for oxygen. Now I had to wait. Suddenly the train lurched forward and the brakes were slammed on. It took a good five minutes for the driver to come to the carriage "Agumenti!" a shoot of water erupted from his wand. "Good god boy... what are you doing down there?" The heat had destroyed the shield forcing me down. Finally I stood up, aided by the driver's hand.


	3. Chapter 3

He slammed down his wand "Professor I... it... it wasn't me!"

"SHUT UP SEVERUS! SHUT UP!" He looked away, disappointed. "YOU NEED TO GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER! Getting stuck on Hogwarts express then starting a FIRE? You could have burnt the whole train to ash!" he sat down and calmly lifted his wand I thought he was going to attack me. I jumped up and drew my own wand "What are you doing Severus?" he spluttered, turns out he was moving it away from the desk. "Sit down you foolish boy." I did as he said.

"I can expel you. You know that?" I nodded and looked down at my feet. "Look at me" I raised my head and looked at him. Right in the eye. "Give me a reason to keep you here at Hogwarts." I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I wanted to explain about the bullying, about the train and how it wasn't my fault but I couldn't. I never could.

"I... " I cleared my throat and looked at him. His expression was as unforgivable as ever. "You should keep me here because..." I paused.

"You should keep me here because I AM worth it. I CAN do things that others can't. I'm in the slug club. I BELONG to Hogwarts sir, I belong HERE, with the best... Please sir... keep me here, I have nowhere else to go." He looked at me. Stunned. He picked up my trunk and handed it to me.

"Very well Severus, just this once. Never again. If you hurry you may just get pudding or not" He looked at the clock and gestured towards the door just as I was leaving he stopped me, his hand on my shoulder, a tight grip, it almost hurt. "You better work one hundred times as hard this year Snape. Or else" he whispered in my ear, sending shivers down my spine. I turned, nodded and left.

I pulled open the great doors. I was trying to be subtle but it dramatically failed. Even the first years stared at me like I was a piece of rubbish. "Well isn't it for the pyromaniac!" It came from the crowd of wizards and witches on the Gryffindor table. I clenched my fists and walked away but my eye caught Lily's. I was happy. Glad to be staying even though I knew the tormenting wouldn't stop. It never would.

I sat down and grabbed a piece of treacle pudding; my favourite pudding they served in this dump. I didn't _really_ hate Hogwarts, just sometimes, being ignored one minute and then having people chuck things at me; insults, names and sometimes food another minute wasn't the best fun.

As I took the first spoonful of the treacle my mouth started to water, I was looking forward to the hot sticky food hitting the back of my throat but instead I felt the treacle sauce hit the back of my head. Someone had dumped their pudding right down my cloak. "Great. It's started already" I muttered, I wish I didn't. I turned around to see James potter and his mates staring right back at me "Going to tell Snape? Tell who? You're precious Mommy? I tried to stand up, Peter pushed me back down. "Excuse me, I'm going to bed" They let me go that time. That time.


	4. Chapter 4

I woke up suddenly, looking around; all I could see was the familiar Hogwarts. The stone walls, the red curtains, oh how I hated them. I hated them so much. I got up, and walked over to the thin slit of the window. I notice something; a slight light coming from the forbidden forest- he was going to investigate when a firm grip descended on his shoulder. "Going somewhere? It was James.

"How did you get in here, you don't know the password..." I looked to either side, there was nothing. Just white. Suddenly my mother appeared in front of me, she was feuding with someone, then my father appeared out of nowhere. I was sent spiralling, out of the room, towards the forbidden forest. "NO!" I screamed and I woke. Sweat was pouring off me. The boys in my room were cautiously creeping up to where I lay: "Severus" Then a pause and one of them inhaled deeply. That was all I remembered until I woke again.

"Oh thank god! He lives!" It was the over-the-top nurse. I groaned. Why me? why here? I thought. It was the first day; I was going to miss dark arts. "Please nurse, I feel better, it must have just been a little fever and I'm fine now, really." She gave me the eyebrow; she knew I was lying. And I was. I felt like the inside of me was tearing itself apart, like each and every cell was set out to destroy me. "I don't think so somehow" was her a way I was sort of pleased. No seeing James and his gang.

"Severus, Sev?" It was Lily, I must have fallen asleep for the whole day, visitors weren't allowed to visit until after all lessons. "Severus, listen, I've got to go in a minute, you know what my friends are like, they don't understand why I speak to you, they'll never understand who you are Sev. So wake up. Please?" I lifted my head to see her more clearly and propped myself up by my elbows. "Thank you for visiting Lily, I appreciate it, I really do." I looked up at her. "What's wrong lily? Lily?" Then she was gone and my mother replaced her: "You'll never become a wizard! I'm not having you as a wizard living in my house!" Then her thin body collapsed, her sunken in eyes stared at me for help I turned away and woke up. I gasped and inhaled a gulp of oxygen.

The nurse was there again, shoving the thermometer in my mouth. I tried to resist but the fever gave in for me: "40 degrees! Good god Severus, you are Ill! No school for you for a couple of days I think!" She patted my pillow "There there" I wasn't used to this treatment when I was ill, I wasn't used to this treatment ever. It felt awkward. Unnatural. Weird...

The next visitor was unexpected; from out of the curtain appeared Lucius, the one who had bullied him "Listen snape. I'm sorry. Truthfully. I'm sorry for everything. The bullying, the name calling. From now on it stops, anyone caught saying anything to you WILL be punished, you can count on my word." I didn't know what to say to him. "You're a fellow slytherin snape; you're one of us really, at heart. You're dark arts show that, you know more curses and spells than any other person in you're year and many in the year above you. You're special snape, real special." I stared at him, dumbfounded. "Lucius... is this some joke? Something to wind me up, with you prefects, a little joke?" I managed to stutter out. "Oh no Severus, no joke..."


End file.
